"One door opens another"

Ive started a new blog for one of my COM classes this semester. Take a gander, drop me a line.
http://whenrealitybecomesdigital.blogspot.com/

“True love is friendship -- caught on fire.”

Remember yourself years ago. Think about the people you loved, the memories you cherished, and the feelings that created the fragile fabric of your existence. Embrace that recollection. Hold it close to your heart, feel its comfort, and embody those transgressions.

Now look at where you are now. Appreciate the stepping stones of life that lead you to stand where you are today. Acknowledge that everything happens for a reason, and that "chance" played no role in the creation of your being.

I am able to stand before you today, as the person I am, because of my past experiences. Be they good or bad, each and every single moment shaped my future. Tonight I cleansed my soul, in an attempt to forever immortalize those memories.

Moments ago I sat on my back porch, with my best friend by my side, and together we torched every remaining pentacle of my high school career. Wide eyed and weary, we watched as each individual photograph dissipated in a nostalgia induced cloud of smoke.

No one can change who we were. No one can manipulate or distort those moments, they are forever a part of who we are. What remains is left up to fate.

“Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.”

The following excerpt is old. Not like "last season of LOST old" or "first semester of college" old. It was written before I had completed half of my high school career, way back in 2003. Its "that" kind of old.

"Cancer: A Bitter, Sweet Thrill

Cancer: (noun) uncontrolled cell division that may be caused by environmental factors and/or changes in enzyme production in the cell cycle.

When a person's body becomes damaged, his/her cells divide in order to repair. Harming one's self for satisfaction could very well be argued or even described as a form of cancer. Irritating or lacerating the skin until blood surfaces causes a wound to form, but more importantly, it disrupts the cell cycle. The greater the quantity, volume, and depth of the wounds, the greater the cell cycle disruption. The great the disruption, the greater amount of time required for healing and recovery. The healing process consists of cells dividing in order to replace injured cells. In most cases, a depressed individual's mind is stronger than his/her body, therefore the 'urge' to continue such self mutilation is uncontrollable, thus creating massive, potentially unnecessary cell division to occur - Cancer."

“One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised."

I dont know what you think gives you the right to judge me and make executive decisions about my life, but this shit stops now. Not even for one more second.

Im a big girl, I can handle my own shit. I dont need you deciding what I do and dont need to do. Especially after the speech that you pitched to me, accusing me of the same damn thing. And for the record, I didnt disrespect you like that. I thought you deserved more.

But thanks for being so quick to believe that I did. Im glad I know what you really think of our friendship.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who is with you.
My Father


2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal?
A deer

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
I step on a branch, it cracks underneath me, and scares the deer away. 


4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing, and before you is your DREAM house. How big is it?
Its a log cabin. 


5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
No fence.

6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining room table. What do you see on AND around it?
Beer and the rugby team. 


7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?
A glass beer mug.

8. What do you do with the cup?
Pick it up and take it with me. 


9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What kind of body of water is it?
Its a big river. 


10. How will you cross the water?
Im going to swim across.

___________________________________________________________

1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You’d prefer people not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.

8. What you did with the cup is representative of your attitude.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

10. The way you cross the water is representative to how easy or hard you expect your life to be.

"Kairos (καιρός) is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment. "

Every now and again, something sparks my inner genius, and I develop a profound idea. 

Tonight is one of those nights. 

Lyfe, needs more y's, both physically, and metaphorically. 

Creativity within word spelling is a beautiful thing, inspired by those mavericks who dare to bend the rules. Who says that 'life' need be spelled with an 'i'? A single 'y' works just the same, utilizing a method of identical pronunciation. If you dont dare bend nor break the little rules, how far will you go in lyfe?  How will you experience the world through closed doors? How long can you follow both the 'rules' and your imagination? You can only drudge on so far, before falling short of establishing your identity. Creativity and an eager spirit are something that no man can take from you willingly. Dont be the one to deprive yourself. 

Metaphorically, if more y's, or in this case 'whys' were in existence in the world, lyfe would have more meaning. People would be less afraid to challenge the majority, more inclined to become a trail blazer. Tomorrow, do yourself, nay, the world a favor. Ask yourself 'why?'  

The lake is the catalyst to my internal being. Thank you for taking me there. 

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”

Technology, not myself, is currently in control of my life. Next up on my list, websites.

Lets make the magic happen.  

http://gallery.me.com/redrugger

http://twitter.com/REDrugger

“Accept fate, and move on. Don't yield to the seductive pull of self-pity. Acting like a victim threatens your future.”

Its really hard for me, as a writer, to compose a piece that is self-fulfilling and insightful when I feel like my life is heading in the right direction. I dont know what my deal is, but when my life is smooth sailing, I take no action accept to kick my feet up and go with the flow.

So you have probably guessed by now that because Im composing this entry, I must have stumbled across some rocks in the road. 

What annoys me most, is that these are, by no means, new issues. They are composed entirely of the same misconceptions, faults, and short comings that I have been struggling with since November. 

If given the opportunity, I have decided that I would separate my leg from the remaining segment of my body. It bears a greater burden than it is worth. In the beginning of my rehabilitation I thought that it would be easier to start playing again in small increments rather than not playing any at all. After our first game it was rather apparent to me, that not only was I sadly mistaken, but I had also severely underestimated my ego, when I had to walk off the pitch only 10 minutes into the match. 

Admitting that I have a weakness and, in turn, asking for help is a task I have never met head on with a willing and eager spirit. And yet, here I am, forced to do so on almost a daily basis. I dont know how long I can tread this current while no progress is emerging. Self pity has gotten me no where thus far. I had better buck up, or this monster will consume me. 

“Write your injuries in dust, your benefits in marble.”

I know my limits. I know how far I can push myself without cracking. I know how much pain I can endure. I know the difference between hurting and injured. I am no where near injured. 

Trust me. 

I dont want to be treated differently than everyone else. There's no doubt in anyone's mind that Im not up to par with everyone else. Everyone knows this, myself included. But I wont ever be as strong as I once was if I dont push myself. 

So Im asking you, help me help myself. Dont baby me. Dont use caution with me. Treat me as you would anyone else. 

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.”

Anyone who knows me well, knows that my conscience constantly hangs heavy over my head. My every move is evaluated and applied to my persona. Normally I know better than to double cross my mentality, however, every once in a while I have a momentary lapse in my judgment and throw caution into the wind. I had one of these moments recently, and sure enough promptly following the release of my words the wind swept the stability right from underneath my feet and knocked me on my ass, left alone to suffer the wrath of my conscience. 

Over the years Ive learned that my biggest struggle always resides within myself. One day, I will be at the root of my own destruction. I will tear myself apart before anyone else even gets the opportunity to.