“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”

Human beings are, in and of themselves, unpredictable. Once you feel like you really know someone, really connect with that individual, you let your guard down. The next instant you may be unfortunate enough to find yourself whimpering and bloody in a corner at the hand of that same individual. Or perhaps, in retrospect, spoiled and pampered. Flip a coin. The odds dont change. IIt proves to be rather difficult and pointless to attempt to tip the scales and manipulate a 50/50 split. 

Raw, natural human behavior is categorized by few words; passionate, relentless, spontaneous, and unwavering are among those few. Any combination of the previous stated words begins a recipe for destruction, which is why man kind has evolved and grown into what it is today. With the addition of honor, loyalty, respect, discipline, and responsibility, a level of equilibrium has been created a spread across coast to coast. These traits allow the foundation for higher level thinking, thus forcing growth upon man. 

However, I am sorry to say, that not everyone gets the memo. Not everyone has the opportunity, nay, the privilege to experience this growth. 

I am sorry you got left behind. I am so sorry. But regardless, you will have to grow up one day. You will have to realize that the Earth does, in fact, revolve around the sun, not you. That there is so much more to life than the small word that you have created for yourself. Not everyone lives with your constrictions. Which keeps communication between you and the rest of the world a difficult task. Wise up. 

If anything, I should be insulted, for you far underestimate me, my abilities, and my determination. In reality, the world's reality not your twisted facade, I could care less what you do or dont do. I live out 99% of my days without the thought of you even crossing my mind. Yet, you continuously find a reason to bring my name into yours. 

I hope your period of self realization and growth begins soon, for you have a long road ahead of you. 

“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first”

Last night, as I laid on the couch surrounded by the swirled muffled sounds of drunken stupor, I started to question myself. Who am I? In all honesty, Im not even quite sure myself. The basics are clear, however, I want to become something more. I want people to have a reason to remember my name.  I want to rightly deserve every complement that I receive. I want the ability to be known for something more than just going to college or shooting basketball pictures. I want my more inner characteristics to shine. I want everyone to notice the building blocks that are the make up of my morals. I want the world to know who I am and what I stand for. 

Some day, Im going to make my mark. 

“Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.”

It is astonishing how much time you can spend with someone, yet know so little about them. I am ending the day knowing more about myself and some of the people in my life. We all have room to grow. 

I stumbled across a penny heads up today. I gave it to a homeless man. You make your own luck. Remember that. 

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. So long as a man is angry he cannot be in the right.”

It is only by my mercy that your heart continues to distribute blood throughout your body. It is only by my compassion that you retain the ability to draw breath. It is only by my grace that you remain in control of your cognitive brain functions. 

I have warned you not once, but countless times, to amend your actions. Each time you have disrespected me, and continued to drag others down with you. I have offered you infinite opportunities to show some form of remorse, to take full responsibility for your actions. I have given you the benefit of the doubt more times that I ever should have. I used to think that within every individual lies at least one ounce of good.  You proved me wrong. You are selfish, egotistical, naive, and ignorant. 

Ill be damned if you even so much as breath on my kid sister again. I promise that you will not make this mistake again. I am giving you one last warning. Stay away, or face the repercussions. 

For the time being I am going to leave you alone. Im not going to harass you. Im not going to threaten you. Im not going to shoot you shifty looks. Im going to simply ignore you all together. Self control is key. Its something that I have that you do not. Learn to keep your emotions in check. Learn to walk away with pride. Find some fashion of self respect. You will go a lot father in life if you do.

I pray that you heed this warning, for it you do not comply, I swear on my life that you will wish you had never been given yours. 

"Individually, we are one DROP. Together, we are an OCEAN,"

I dont know what it is about these kids that continually draws me to them. All I know, is that they never cease to amaze me. With each forth coming day they prompt me to analyze my life with a new perspective. I have never once left them feeling empty. They renew my faith within humanity. Each and everyone of them is living proof that there is good in the world. They exhibit characteristics that are capable of leaving individuals astonished, nay, dumbfounded. Aspects of their young psyche demonstrate that there is, in fact, more to teenagers than most people allow credit for. 

I am able to see a little piece of myself within each and everyone of them. From the ones whom are like my own flesh, to those I am only beginning to get to know, they teach me something new about myself; who I am, who I am becoming, who I aspire to be. 

I am proud to know each and every one of these individuals. I am even more grateful to be apart of their lives. To be there to guide them, and watch them grow. There is nothing more beautiful on this earth, than to witness the mental, emotional, and physical growths of another human being. 

I feel like I have been able to make a difference, that none other can compare to.

“Exponential growth looks like nothing is happening, and then suddenly you get this explosion at the end.”

Throughout my life time, I can count on one hand the number of times that I have encountered near death experiences. I am very fortunate for that, given the amount of risks I have taken.

Today I added another tally to the list. Three words: White Water Rafting. The first hour and a half on the river was fine. My little brother did fall out of the raft on the first course, a category two area, but he was quickly pulled back on board and spent little time in the heavy current. The remainder of the adventure was successful as well. Until our group took its last voyage. During this time, we attempted to conquer a category four course. As our raft was propelled down the drop I was flung out of the raft and into the water. My initial thought upon contact with the water was, " Wow, you're a dumb ass, get back in the raft." Moments passed. The current was too strong for me to swim back to the raft. Our instructor motioned for me to maneuver to the eddie, or low current area, but much to my dismay, I could not reach that either. Within milliseconds my body was forced down a category three waterfall. At this point I could not breathe due to water ingestion. Now I was thinking, "Shit. How am I going to make it back to the raft?" Momentarily following that thought, I saw a guide on land following me down the river. He yelled, "Swimmer! Grab the rope." He attempted to throw me a rope which could ultimately pull me to safety. I watched the end of the rope leave his grasp and sail through the air in my direction. Feet away from my position, the rope fell shot, just a few feet out of my grasp. I headed down another category three waterfall. At this time my sinuses have been completely flushed with water, I cant breathe, and Im beginning to become disoriented. I dont know how long I was under water but it felt like forever. Just when I was beginning to regain some sense of comprehension, I went down another waterfall, this time, a category four. Now I am completely drained. I remember thinking that I was going to end up on the 6 o'clock news as a kid who went to a park for recreational fun but ended up dead in a tragic, unexpected accident. I was seriously questioning whether or not I believed that I would survive. I floated down stream through more strong currents. I saw another guide on the shore. Just like the previous. he yelled, "Swimmer! Grab the rope." This guide had pin point precision with his rope toss. I grabbed a hold of the rope with the tightest grip possible. At one point in time my fingers went numb. He began to pull me to a safe zone. It took about seven minutes to get me there. He grabbed a hold of my personal flotation device around the collar and dragged me on shore.

I was alone in the harsh current for a total of 13 minutes and traveled a distance of an estimated 400 feet.

After being pulled a shore, I ran down stream back to my raft. I leaped from the shore back on board and continued my adventure. I am walking away from this experience with some memorial wounds. I re broke one of my left knuckles, bruised my tail bone and knees, as well as sustained multiple scratches and flesh wounds. I also have a better understanding of myself and what I can withstand. No matter how tired I am or how much I want to give up, I now know that I can always find a way to push myself and make it to the next level.

I wouldnt trade this experience for the world.